The Feels

I have been experiencing so many different emotions as I've let this mission call sink in. (And trust me, it's still sinking.)

There was the thrill/disbelief when I opened my call- which, naturally, turned into tears because they're really sending me on a mission! (YAYUUHHH.)
Then there was the 'what the?!' moment- I mean I didn't even know the Dominican Republic was in North America. There was an additional 'what the?!' moment when I realized how tropical it was... I'm the whitest of the white girls... You can practically see right through me.
Then there was the airy sarcasm- "Of COURSE you're sending me to teach in Spanish, HF. I've only been avoiding learning that language my whole life, nbd." ;)
Then moments of catatonic (I exaggerate) shock when I couldn't even process any of it.
Then terror at going to a whole strange new place.
Then inadequacy because I'm a horrible visiting teacher and haven't been very good with reading my scriptures before I get really tired.
Then the realization of how prideful I am.
Then the realization of how lacking I am in charity.
Then wondering if something wasn't quite right because my emotions weren't all uplifting and positive.
Then hating Satan because it's all his fault but wanting to sob into my pillow anyway.

 Then today happened.

As I was making a mormon.org profile, I started to think about who I really am and why I have chosen to try my best to live this gospel. I realized that I really want to be a disciple of Christ. But what does that mean?
It means it has nothing to do with me at all. I am on the errand of the Lord- I imagine myself as a little girl, looking up at my Father with big eyes, asking: What would you like for me to do?
I think of all the righteous people in the Santiago mission who are ready and searching for the missing pieces that are here in Christ's doctrine. I think of the people who are suffering, because they never knew another way. I feel so lowly compared to these people. I'm humbled by the worth of their souls.
I am so excited to serve them. I am eager to serve the Lord. God's children need the gospel. God needs me to be humble and obedient. I feel a burning zeal in my heart to do my very best, so that I will be prepared and worthy to teach with the Spirit.

I think the feelings I have now are just the beginning.

Dear Sister Harden:

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Dominican Republic Santiago Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.

You should report to the Dominican Republic Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, October 9, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language. Your assignment may be modified according to the needs of the mission president.

!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

All the feels!! :D
Will write more about this soon....

!!!!!!!!!

The Test of Time

Another day has come and gone without a mission call. Could it be tomorrow?
I certainly hope so, for my sanity's sake. :0)

So I had one of those cliched experiences that you hear about and feel your eyes glaze over. I opened up to the Book of Mormon to study my scriptures yesterday and just started to read. The most wonderful words were on that page- my mission motto:

I glory in plainness;
I glory in truth;
I glory in my Jesus,
for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.

I have charity for my people
and great faith in Christ
that I shall meet many souls
spotless at his judgement seat. 
(Read here.)

I just felt my mind go into focus.
I read these words and have an acute sense of what is important while I am doing the labor of the Lord. I am reminded that the gospel is simple, that it is true, and that it is centered in Christ. I can be forgiven of my sins, and so can my companions, the members whom I serve with, and the people that I teach. We can be made whole through the Atonement and become better, more Christ-like people.

Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?
Verily I say unto you, even as I am.  
(Read here.)

 

SO MUCH TIME LATER

that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one...

Haha. But seriously. I am a terrible blogger. Luckily, I won't be the one posting for much longer. Well, I WILL, but I won't. My mother will be posting my weekly entries in a little while.

I feel like none of this is making sense. So I must explain.

I am going to be serving an 18 month mission through The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (!!!) My paperwork has been in for about three and a half weeks, and I am excited to report that as of last Friday, my call has been assigned! I should find out where I'm going sometime this week. (!!!) I'm just a little eager to know where I'm going to be living for a year and a half, preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.

To sort of bring you up to speed, how about a vague two year recap? I made some regrettable decisions, as well as some awesome decisions. I did some studies over at the local community college, applied and was accepted to Brigham Young University Idaho. I've played a lot of ultimate frisbee, and continue to suffer through my job at a nearby cinema. I haven't dated in a year and a half (no regrets), and have watched a lot of great TV on Netflix. I've been living in an apartment with my friend Sofia for the past year, who is equal parts silly, awesome, and "bits of felt and glittah". She'll get it. :)

Life is quite good, and about to get better, so stay tuned! I'll make it worth your while this time. ;)